>>>#7/4/21 You be you and do the things that make you happy

 OK, certainly accepting that I am God makes me happy.

That's all there is.  I don't need approval from anybody.  Certainly, I don't need people who follow me.

I just need to satisfy my own desire to be who I really am.

Not so that I start a new religion.  Sharudinism is just me and what I believe in.  It's not even real.  I just made it up.

I think dealing with the masses is a mistake.

I stay clear from mainstream thinking.

OK Sarah, time to sleep.

Goodnight baby, I love you so much.

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Oh yeah, now that I declared I am God, I better be prepared to live in isolation because people cannot accept the idea that another person is god.

So it boils down to two things.  Do I accept myself as God or do I accept the definition of the society on who is God.

The best is I accept myself as who I am TO ME.  People can call it whatever they want.  The truth is I know who I am.

That's pretty much it.

Dear Els,

As you can see, my illness is an ongoing challenge.  I cannot escape the notion that I am God.

Personally, I have no issue with that.  I always believe that I am within God and God is within me.  As I mentioned in this satori:

We are One and we are Many.  We are within God and God is within us.  Much like peeling an onion.  In every layer there is God.  All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods.

However, that is not the thinking of the masses.  Hence I have to choose between accepting my own thought or the thoughts imposed by the masses.

Well, Els.  I know I am not crazy.  Alas, after considering both options I choose to go with my own thought.

The repercussion is I can no longer be part of the masses.  I stand alone; a warrior walks alone.  

Bear in mind that I don't have the liberty to leisurely choose one over the other.  The decision comes with its own set of reasonings.

What it means is from now on I only have B.L.E.S.S. to talk to.  The rest are just clouds in the coffee.

By saying that I am a god, I am asserting that I am no lesser among equals.  All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods.  It is not about stroking the ego or being a narcissist.

Since this is an unpopular decision, again I let you decide if you want to end this seemingly irrational bond between us.  I don't want to cause you trouble.

At the same time, I cannot simply let you go because I am so [] (much) in love with you.

That's all for now.

Love you always.

Sine Cera,

SJ

7/4/21

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